Faith

I'm lying in my bunk tonight with a heavy heart for a family that has faced their worst fears as parents. On December 7, 2010 they discovered that their son, only 21 years old, was murdered after he'd been missing since they last saw him over Thanksgiving dinner. They are soon to be reminded of this on the upcoming one year anniversary of their loss, as if they'd ever forgotten anyway. I'm sure whatever feelings they've managed to get through at this point will soon resurface in a way that is more painful than they can imagine. My spirit has been burdened for them for about a week now and I can't seem to pray for them enough. Tonight though, something occurred to me. When we truly have faith in God, when we truly believe that our prayers will be answered, when we lead faithful lives, God proves his faithfulness to us in return. It's one of those "you get out of it what you put into it" kind of things which is incredible if you think about it. How much hope that offers! If we simply choose to live a life of faith, everything will really be ok. Please remember this family in your prayers too.. Pray that comfort, strength, and peace find their place-today and tomorrow and in a few months when the holidays that once held a promising feeling of joy will no longer feel joyful for them but will stand as a reminder of what they've lost. It breaks my heart to think of a time once regarded as so good is now tainted by such a tragedy for this family. If God cares about the desires of our hearts and we all desire peace for this family, they are surely to find it. That's what my faith tells me anyway.
A friend posted this scripture on twitter tonight and I find it very relevant in this situation.
"God is close to the broken hearted". -Psalm 34:18
Your prayers are much appreciated.


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Stop This Train

You know... out of the list of qualities I like to think I possess as a person, being honest is one of the most important ones to me. And in the name of being a good blogger, I want to write what I know and bare my soul fearlessly. If I'm being completely honest with you, lately I've been dealing with this whole growing up thing that I didn't know I had not dealt with: I've been mourning the loss of my childhood. Don't get me wrong, I'm not AT ALL unhappy with my current life. In fact, it's better than it's EVER been. But I suppose there's just some things we all deal with in this progression that is life, and growing up is simply one of those things. I'm finding myself clinging to the things that bring back that childhood feeling for me: watching The Lion King, playing Nintendo, a familiar song that I loved as a kid, anything really that takes me back to a time and place. You know that feeling.... that nostalgic feeling that for a moment allows you to forget that you are an adult with the responsibilities to match your age.

Stop This Train is a song by John Mayer that I've always admired as a songwriter. It's undoubtedly brilliant lyrically and his melodies are always just as brilliant as his writing. Until this past week, I never appreciated it the way I do now though. I've listened to it a hundred times before but this time it reduced me to tears. It says simply how I feel: so scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young. The thing that frightens me so much about getting older is that everyone else is getting older too and there's nothing I can do about it. If you've never heard this song, take a listen. Here's to clinging to those memories and allowing them to encourage me to continue making more. Tomorrow, today will simply be yesterday and I want yesterday to always be worth redesiring.