Raw Emotion, Inspiration, & Dream Chasin'

There are just some things I find difficult to share mostly because I can't seem to find words for them. I don't really talk about this situation openly or to just anyone because I feel like until you've been there, you just can't exactly understand, but through the struggles that I've at times faced, and tears that I've at times cried, I can tell you this: It has all made me strive for a better self, and allowed me to recognize the opportunities that life offers; that I can choose to nurture my relationships with friends, family, and my future husband, that I can make a difference in someone's life, that I can laugh, that I can cry, that I can chase my dreams and encourage others to do the same, and that I can be the person that I choose to be. This is a song I wrote a few years ago. I was thinking about my Dad, his character, the things he's battled in his life, and the things I appreciated from him as a parent. Aside from our graduation song which I wrote, I've never made anything else public before. This is a first for me. It's a risk, and my heart is racing. I only hope that it can touch someone's life. So, here goes. I call it "Dad's Song".

He holds her little hand and he cries

As he watches her sleep

Her mom had been gone for three days

It was best that she leave

But his little girl needs her mama around

And when she’ll need her the most

She just won’t be found

He constantly wonders how he’ll

Answer questions to come

And whether or not he can be

Both a dad and a mom

There’s just so much only time can tell

He prays daily for God to send angels to help

He loves her

And he prays for her each night

And when he prays he

Knows everything’s alright

Because God’s never failed him

And he won’t fail this time

He may give you a mountain

But not one that you can’t climb

Those days turn to years as she grows

And it blows him away

She was still just his little girl

Yesterday

Now they’re choosing pictures for senior ads

And while they’re looking back

On the life that they had

She said “Daddy I want you to know

That I love you so much.

And this life that you’ve given to me

Has been more than enough.”

They say she is a testament to the faith

That her father had when he prayed for her that day

And he loves her

And he still prays for her each night

When he prays he

Knows everything’s alright

Because God didn’t fail him

And he won’t fail this time

He may give you a mountain

But not one you can’t climb.

And if it seems that it’s too tall

Remember the journey is what really matters

And if you feel you’re gonna fall

He’ll pick you up,

If you want him to

He holds her hand and he cries

As he gives her

Away

What's Your Keirsey Profile?

This week in psychology, we had to do an exercise which required us to take the Keirsey profile quiz. At the bottom of this page, you will find a link to the Keirsey website where you can learn more and more about yourself. Here are my results.

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

Idealists at Work
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.

Your attention is naturally drawn to the individual and collective needs, desires, and experiences of people in your environment. In your ideal job, you would be able to use your inner beliefs as a guide for empowering others. Though you are comfortable with leadership, you don’t like arbitrary hierarchies. You care deeply about people as people, and often feel that maintaining official role boundaries interferes unnecessarily with both communication and progress.

My response?

I really am all about growing to my fullest potential and helping others find that same inspiration within themselves. I've always wanted to inspire others the way that I've been inspired because I value those who inspired me so much. I want to make a difference in lives and I always want to make things better. I always finding myself wanting to give more and more, to love deeper, and to be the best daughter, friend, fiance, ect, that I can be. I like giving my best. I like the rewarding feeling of it paying off as well. There are times when my head is in the clouds, but I believe that anything is possible and that in being willing to obey God, he will use me in the way that he chooses. I also overuse the word "no offense" even when it isn't necessary because as my profile says, I don't like conflict. I like to create harmony. I'm very in tune with my feelings and emotions, and very dedicated to making good decisions. Sometimes that means I miss out on the fun, but in the long run, I believe I will be better off. I really enjoyed this exercise.

To discover your own Keirsey profile, click here. This is a free program.

Freak Accidents

This past Thursday was an interesting one.

So it's Thursday, and the bus is scheduled to leave at 1:45, Myrtle Beach bound! Our day began at 8 am. Madison was taking Morgan's Prius to the Toyota dealership in Augusta to get it serviced in return for letting us borrow it for a road trip the previous few days. He got there and realized that he had left his wallet at home, so he turned around to go get it. While stopped at a red light, he felt a sudden WHAM! He looked back, saw the lady in the car behind open her door and step one foot out. He then continued to step out of the car and follow the "accident routine"... you know... get out, make sure everyone's alright, trade insurance info, ect... As soon as he gets out of the car, this lady slams her door shut and speeds around him leaving him in the dust. HOW LOW. Here he is, wallet-less. So he couldn't file a report.

He drove on to Wal-Mart in Evans, Ga where we weekly buy groceries for the bus. He then called me and explained everything and asked if I would mind bringing him his wallet. Of course, I didn't mind at all. I needed a few things from Wal-Mart myself, so this kind of gave me the motivation to just go get them. I threw on some clothes, headed out the door, and met him in the store 40 minutes later. We got what we needed, loaded up the cars, and headed home.

Just 5 minutes later, I was driving and went through the green light at Greenbrier going full speed. In a split second, I notice a bulldozer pulling into the road, right in front of me! The interesting part of this is that the red light stopped all the traffic that was behind me... so this guy driving the bulldozer just decided he couldn't wait for one more car to pass, I suppose. Truth be told, he wasn't paying attention! I immediately swerved without even checking to see if anything was coming in the other lane. Lucky for me, there wasn't. The only thought that was going through my mind was that this bulldozer's load was the level of my windshield and if this were Final Destination, I would soon be decapitated. There remains a small mark on my car, and a large skid mark on the highway, but as for me... NOW I'm okay. Madison had been just a few cars behind me... caught at the red light... and saw the whole thing. I pulled over, so did he, he checked on me and waited for me to cool off. It took a minute, I mean, I had started crying and was shaking and nearly dry heaving... although I can recall only doing that one other time in my life.

But tell me how freakish that is? Within 2 hours, Madison and I had both been in a car related accident. Another fact you may enjoy... while driving to Wal-Mart, 5 minutes away, Sheri called me to check on Madison. I had just told her that he seemed extremely calm and that if it had been me, I'd be freaking out.

We posted a brief synopsis on twitter about the accidents and over the weekend, a friend of ours came up to me and asked if I was alright. He said that he had been on twitter catching up and happened to read ours out loud. His co-worker asked if everyone was alright and he responded, "I don't know! They only had 140 characters to tell about it!"

Logan Smith's brother was sharing with me a freakish story of his own concerning car accidents. He said that for the past 3 years, every single year on his birthday, they've been hit in the rear.

How freakish?